Nonsense Smashers
by Eleven-man
Summary: New Smashers in the Mansion, but they're not from any game that we know! Flames will be shot back with my mega flame cannon. I own Javi, Mutsy and Blanky, and no more. Check my homepage.
1. For Good or for Awesome

Smash Mansion

"Hi, we're here to apply for the position."

Master Hand's office, roman pantheon style with an open roof to accommodate the gigantic glove.

"_There is only one of you."_

A tall but rather scrawny looking teenager stood in the middle of the room as Master hand circled like a shark.He seemed unnaffected, and smiled almost idiotically. He had flaming red hair, bordering on orange. He wore an olive green jacket, olive green pants, and a shiny, shiny belt buckled belt.

"Oh, hold on."

He spoke to the red backpack he was carrying.

"Mutsy, Blanky, get out here."

The bag unzipped and out jumped two figures. The first, about a foot tall, looked, _was,_ a plush dog. With big ears. The second figure flatenned out when it hit the floor, then sprang up to a height of two feet. It looked, was, (dangit!) made of cloth. It was a blanket. It suddenly sprouted eyes and a wide grin. A _living_ blanket!

"_Who are you?"_

The teenager spoke.

"We are Nonsense Advice, for good or for awesome! I'm Javi, this is Blanky and Mutsy and hopefully, Smashers to be!

"_No, what are you?"_

"Well, we run a Advice site, but I'm your run of the mill awesome guy,and they are a plush dog and blanket that some how came to life!"

"_Do you have any previous experience?"_

"Well no, but we can fight pretty well!"

"_We? You fight as a team?"_

This time Mutsy spoke, his voice oddly loud and clear for for something that size.

"Yeah! We are nothing without each other, literally, and ever since Popo and Nana became Smashers, we have been training to join!"

"_But HOW did you two come to life?"_

Blanky spoke.

"We'll tell you, but first you have to tell us what YOU are."

"_Touché. You can become Smashers, but first, you must defeat an opponent of your choosing from the Smashers."_

Master hand threw open the huge oaken doors of his office, and all the current Smashers, filed in, forming a semi-circle around Nonsense Advice.

They all, stood silently around the newcomers, trying to impose as much fear as they could, even Pichu, a strategy Master Hand had taught them to discourage weak potential Smashers. But N.A.stood their ground, Javi star struck.

"Whoa! Mario! Luigi! Samus, BowserPeach, Linkzeldamewtwopikachujigglypufficeclimbersganondorfdr.mariogameandwatch ungh..."

Mutsy had to elbow him in the shin to shut him up.

"Whoops, sorry, long time gamer. Ooookay, I pick the first game I ever played, come on down Young Link!"

Young Link stepped forward.

"First game, eh?"

"Ocarina of Time at a friend´s house."

"Cool."

"_Fight."_

Next thing Javi knew, he, Mutsy, Blanky and Y. Link were at Hyrule.

Mutsy turned to Blanky.

"Don't say it."

"Toto, I don't think we're in Kansas anymore."


	2. NA vs Y Link

**Just a reminder, more of Javi, Mutsy and Blanky is available at my GET ON WITH IT!**

Nonsense Advice vs. Young Link

Stage: Hyrule.

Go!

Y. Link cocked an arrow pulling it to maximum strength. Javi didn't move, and Mutsy and Blanky were on his shoulders.

Link realized his mistake when it was too late and the arrow was speeding towards its target.

"_They have a deflector move!"_

Javi grabbed Blanky and spun him infront of him, so fast that all corners werewhipping around dangerously. The arrow hit him and was grabbed by Blanky, then hurled back.

"Spin Shield!"

"Gah!"

Y. Link winced at his own arrow. He took a bunch of damage, but nothing incapacitating.

"_Well that was unfortunate. That means I can't use my boomerang or bombs. Let's see how they are at hand to hand. Or hand to sword. Or, umm, sword to blanket to, uh, aw, the heck with it!"_

Y. Link ran in for a running hit, but before he got the Javi had jumped onto a higher platform.

"Gravity Kick!"

Blanky swelled up like a balloon, floating upwards an to the side, carrying Javi with him. Mutsy was in Javi's backpack, with his head popping out. When they were over

Y. Link, Javi let go and stomped on Y. Link's head, like Y.Link had seen Mario do sometimes to koopas, but with a lot more oomph due to Javi's strong legs and the added height. Before Javi landed, Y.Link dished out a lot of hits with his sword, a smash one sending Javi into the air. Blanky was now on the ground running to get to Javi.

"_Wait! They are like the Ice Climbers! Divide and Conquer!"_

Y. Link ran in and got Blanky with a running hit. Before he could perform a Fire Spin, Mutsy jumped out of Javi's pack and into…Blanky? Blanky braced himself against two of the columns he was between. Mutsy rocketed himself into Blanky, the latter stretching back a few yards, while Mutsy rolled himself into a ball. Y.Links pupils shrunk, as he realized that he was staring down the most powerful slingshot he had ever seen.

"Stitch Shot!"

"Waaaaahh!"

Young Link took a massive amount of damage, adding to the already high count, and was flung to the other side of the stage, were Javi was waiting with a perfectly timed Smash attack.

"Waaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhh…"

Y. Link became a star in the distance.

Javi, Mutsy and Blanky punched the sky and yelled the name of Nonsense Advice to the heavens. This was their fighter stance.

"_Game!"_

N.A. wins!


	3. Whole lotta Buzzin' and Eatin'

Nonsense Advice appeared in Master Hand's office. All the Smashers stood in reverence. They had just gotten the half-minute man bonus on their first match.

"Nonsense Advice, I , Master Hand, bestowe upon you, by the authority of the Hands, membership to Super Smash Bros. Melee."

Donkey Kong stepped forward, towering over even Javi, who was a impressive six-feet tall.

"Of course you realize what this means."

Donkey Kong let out his signature roar.

"PAAAAARTYYYYY!"

Master Hand had organized a huge party, with streamers and a ginormous cake. (Note: I reserve the right to make up words.)

Master Hand must have done some research because Javi's favorite food was there in abundance: calamari.

"Now-a there's someone who appreciates good-a food-a!" said Mario.

Actually, everyone's favorite foods were there. Donkey Kong enjoyed heaping plates of golden bananas, and Kirby sucked in plates of Kawasaki's specials. There were piles of fruit for the Pokemon and Yoshi. And no matter how much they ate, more kept coming.

Even after everyone finished eating, Javi, Donkey Kong and Kirby kept on eating. And eating. And eating. Blanky and Mutsy groaned as they realized what was happening.

"What is it?" Samus asked.

"Javi's gotten into another eating contest! Last time, we got a restraining order from three Crab Houses…in three different states! In two hours!"

"Ugh." said Captain Falco, "I can't imagine eating that much. I've gotta fit into the spandex, ya know?"

"We'll have to wait it out."

"You don't get it," interrupted Samus. "Kirby does not like having his title as the Eating Champion of the Mansion challenged. Last time Yoshi tried, we found him tied up in a basement three months afterwards. Worst of all, it was the basement where we keep the Mister Saturns!"

"Meeeeeeeh!" squeaked Yoshi, which roughly translated to, "The Horror!". He then proceded to curl into a fetal position, rocking back and forth.

5 hours later…

"It's like a train wreck. You want to look away, but you just can't." commented Fox.

The display of gluttony had attracted the whole mansion. Mr. Game and Watch buzzed.

Blanky looked at him, and did the strangest thing. He falattened out on the floor, his eyes and mouth disappearing, then stood up on one edge. Now HE started beeping and buzzing much like Mr. Game and Watch. Mr Game and watch replied in a loud buzz, and Blanky and Mr. Game and Watch (MAN is that a long name.!) were in a heated reparteé that sounded like a twenty-one beeper salute. Eventually, Blanky returned to his normal state.

"YOU SPEAK MR. GAME AND WATCH!" Shouted Roy, who had been the most bothered by Mr. Game and Watch's constant buzzes and beeping. He had even developed a nervous tic in his right eye because of it.

"For your information, the language is 2D and anyone flat can undersatand it. It's my native tongue. It just sounds like beeping to you because you're on a completely different dimensional plane. Mr. Game and Watch here actually has a very large vocabulary."

"Oh." Roy seemed deflated.

"_What did he say?" _

Javi and Kirby's eating was so bizarre it had even attracted Master Hnad.

"Well, first we talked for a while about Javi's eating habits, then I told him my life's story, Mutsy's and Javi's, and he told me his.Then we just went into general chit-chat."

"_What? You were only talking for about five minutes." _ Master Hand knew a lot about other dimensions, but this was new to him. It. Whatever.

"2D is a lot faster than any 3D language."

"Can I learn?" Roy really wanted to understand the non-stop computer noises.

"Get stuck in a paper press and we'll talk."


	4. Blanky vs DK

**Hi! Just to thank CheeseFromJupiter for the reviews! Sorry for the late update, but I'm the world's worst typist.**

Donkey Kong groaned and fell on the floor. He could take no more.

"Gaaah…"

"Well Falco, Fox, you owe me twenty Smash coins each. Samus, Pikachu here are your ten Smash coins each." Blanky completed the transactions.

Donkey Kong sat up.

"You've been taking bets on me?"

"Well not so much bets as sure money for Samus and Pikachu. No one beats Javi. By the way, King Kong called, he wants his look back".

A gasp rose from the smashers. Blanky may not have been fully aware of it, but he had hit one of DK's sore spots. The other was his tie.

"Also, Dilbert called. Turns out he wants his tie back too."

BUM BUM BUM.

" NO…ONE…INSULTS… MY …TIIIIEEE! You, me, right now blanket boy! Without  yer buddies!"

"Bring it on Monkeydude!"

"Wait, monkeydude? Isn't that from homestarrunner? Man, that Strong Bad is such a loser!"

Blanky swelled up as big as Master Hand.

"NO ONE INSULTS THE STRONG BAD!"

Mutsy asked Master Hand, "Can he fight without us?"

"Though it is unusual, considering your team status, but I am not one to interfere with matters of honor."

**Fight!**

Blanky vs. DK

Stage: Jungle Japes

Blankly and DK appeared on opposite ends of the field. Because Blanky can not exist without Javi or Mutsy, (more on that later.), They were inside Cranky's house being chased with a walking stick, while still eating, because Kirby was there to continue the battle.

"Get out of my house!"

whumpwhumpwhump

Donkey Kong went in headfirst, swinging his fists in a spin attack. Blanky rolled up into a ball and rolled in through DK's legs, making the ape fall flat on his face. Blanky got in some weak attacks. He was fast, but not a heavy hitter. Dk whipped around surprisingly fast for something his size and back handed Blanky. He then followed with a head butt and a ground thump. While Blanky was in the air, he puffed up as he had done with Javi's gravity kick.

"_All right, you can rip off Kirby and Jigglypuff. But you're not heavy enough to perform a meteor attack."_

DK was right. He wasn't. But weight was not Blanky's specialty. Through intense training, and watching a truckload of Naruto, Blanky was a master of illusion. Because of his changeable form, he could also change thing other than his appearance. Like his voice. He changed it to match that of the one thing Donkey Kong was interested in other than bananas. Namely, Candy Kong.

"Hey big boy, wanna share a banana split?"

"Candy! Oh I knew you'd come back to me! No one can resist these pecs, I mean look at em!"

While DK was distracted, Blanky went in for a smash attack, sending the ape skyward. Blanky turned into a trampoline, strecking himself, and making DK fly, but with little damage. When DK started to fall, Blanky made himself into a cone and tightened, bracing for impact. DK took an enormous amount of damage. Blanky grabbed him and swung him around and around, grabbing onto a column and stretching so much by the strain that he bacme a rope. DK was flung out, barely catching onto the ledge to avoid the rushing waters and snapping Krocs. Blanky was really worn out, when a party ball appeared. Blanky grabbed it and threw it. Before it hit the ground, DK had come back and hit him running that smacked Blanky nearly out of the field, only coming back by pulling a Kirby. Dk grabbed the first thing out of the ball; the Hammer.

"_All right, he's done for!"_

But he ignored what had also come out of the ball; five or six Bom-ombs.

**FROOOOOM!**

Game!

Blanky wins!


	5. The Boring Chapter of DOOM!

Blanky wins!

"What! He cheated. I got a bum party ball! I'll sue!"

"Give it up DK. Party ball or not, you lost to a third of a fighter." Said Samus, dodging to escape a stray piece of calamari that escaped Javi.

"WAY-O!" (That's it!)

Kirby stopped eating and knocked over Javi.

"Yay! I win! Moonwalk!" dances like Micheal Jackson

"Way-o!" (No, I just decided not to win. That's all! I'm the best eater! It's my thing! I will be avenged!)

"Okay Kirby, you've had enough. Time for bed." Fox and Falco grabbed by his arms, (Or nubs, as I call them.), and dragged him off to his room. DK walked off too, trying to hold whatever dignity he had.

Marth approached N.A. "Master Hand told me to take you to your room. It's next to mine and Roy's."

"Okay. Just let me grab a few more pieces of calamari."

Oo

N.A.'s room was a lot like their room at home, but far cooler, to celebrate their smasher status. The walls were painted in dark green with stripes of neon green, the official colors of Nonsense Advice. There was a pentium 4 Gateway computer for only $499! (Blatant Advertising Sound!), and a big bed. On the wall was a plasma screen for communication throughout the mansion, and for watching every channel known to man, and several known only to monkeys!

"Please feel free to add anything you want. I'm gonna turn in for the night. I have a match with Luigi tomorrow. Night." Marth walked to his room. Though Javi only had a brief view of it, he saw a very medieval themed room, with torches and, um, several posters of Peach.

Javi then proceded add a few touches. He hung up his Homestar Runner poster, Miss Pokémon 2006 calendar. (For the record, Misty beat out May. With Wobbufett running a close third.)

"Mutsy, do your stuff."

Mutsy pulled out a welding torch and mask, put on some gloves, and got to work.

Minutes later, Mutsy had installed a security system of his own design, as well as making the door a big, slidy sci-fi looking door.

"Ha! I like seeing anyone get through that. The secrets of Nonsense Advice must be enforced!"

"Now lets hit the sack."

"Javi, Blanky, there is something that we should talk about. We've only been here a day, and we've made very important people very mad at us. I'm not going to ask you to keep a low profile, that's not possible for us, but _please _don't tick off anyone else without needing to."

"Don't worry, if there's anything we can do, it's keep a secret."

"Actually, I've been thinking."

"Uh oh."

"No, this time it might be good. Living here are some of the only people who would understand. We could tell someone."

"What! Mutsy, we may finally be in a place where we belong. Haven't you noticed no one thinks it's weird we even exist! We're not about to screw it up now!"

"Hey I just thought of something. Isn't our room next to Ness's?"

"So?"

"Think of Ness's powers."

"Oh."

"We don't know if his powers only include telekinesis and pyrokinesis."

"How do we ask subtly?"

"Don't worry, I have a plan.."

The next day at breakfast.

Javi sat down next to Ness.

"Say, can you read minds?"

"Nope."

"Cool."

And then Javi proceeded to devour his eggs.

**Review me or face your DOOM!**


	6. Setting the Stage

Blanky: Sorry about the delay, but school's been like, something, umm, bad. Don't look at me, I don't write this tripe. Javi does.

Last time we saw our heroes, they were enjoying eggs. Exciting, ain't it?

Mutsy was in a heated intellectual conversation with Luigi.

"So you're saying that you honestly think that Optimus Prime could beat Godzilla? Boy do I have a website to show you ."

"WAY-O!" (Die evil usurper of my title!) Kirby swung in to the breakfast room on a vine stapled to the ceiling. He had evidently been planning this for a while.

"Javi, incoming!"

Javi simply ducked, letting Kirby slam into a wall. Mutsy simply shrugged.

"Way to go Rambo. Wall-1, Homicidal Puffball-0"

Javi, Mutsy and Blanky were walking down a corridor leading to the sprawling gardens of the mansion. Mutsy was in a pessimistic mood.

"Javi, Kirby's little scene there is exactly the kind of thing I was talking about. That puffball has millions of fans and hundreds of games. You're not being diplomatic."

"Don't worry, when you're as awesome as I am, what can happen?"

"Your super-ego is showing."

"I _am_ Super-ego remember?"

"Hey, looks like the newbies want to go for a walk, eh?

Falco and Capt. Falcon were blocking the hallway, leaning against the paneling like a bad Grease parody.

"Say Capt, what do you get when you mix aglutton of a weirdo and two childhood relics?"

"Guys, we just want to go for a walk. We don't want any trouble."

"You need a little lesson in the order of stuff around here. How about the time honored tradition of duct taping you to the F-Zero racer? Or Arwing chicken?"

"Hey, leave them alone!"

Peach had just been walking down the corridor for no apparent reason. (Okay, for all you completists out there, she was avoiding Marth.) She spotted N.A., Falco and Capt. She knew the scene well enough. Everyone went through the hazing, but Peach didn't like it, and had a feeling that this time it would be worse than ever.

"Peach, stay out of this."

"No! I remember when I went through the new-guy thing! I'll never look at a unicycle the same way again! shudder So leave them alone.!"

"Look here you bottle blonde, you're just making a scene."

"I'll have you know that this is my natural hair color!" Steam out of ears cliché

"Oh please, you've been gray as a mule since 1990!"

"Oh that's it I'm calling you out! You guys with me!"

Javi, Mutsy and Blanky had been standing there as things got ugly. But they knew that if they didn't go with Peach, she be on them like spandex on a cow.

"Alright guys, lets show them what N.A.'s about!"

Master Hand appeared.

"_Fight! Team battle!"_

Nonsense Advice and Peach vs. Falco and Captain Falcon

Stage: Mute City!


	7. Green Team vs Blue Team

Green Team vs. Blue Team!

Stage: Mute City!

Go!

Nonsense Advice, Peach, Falco and Captain Falcon materialized on the platform that is the stage of Mute City. Javi was trying very hard to keep cool. He wasn't doing very well. He was shivering so much Mutsy and Blanky had to jump from his shoulders. Then they all braced as the platform accelerated to 300 mph.

"Gaaaah!"

Falco was semi-amused by Javi's reaction.

"What's with him?"

"One of Blanky's experiments a few years back" Musty said, his voice hardly audible over the roar of the wind.

Sepia Flashback 

A young Javi is duct-taped to a formula one racecar. Blanky, looking the same as present day, is in the cockpit. I think we all know what happens next.

End Flashback 

Javi was pretty much balanced by now. He still looked like he was going to pass out.

Peach was resisting conforting Javi, she had a fight to fight.

She aimed a Peach Bomb (I'm not about to call it the Butt Blast am I?) at Falco. It connected, but as Falco was sent flying, he grabbed the edge of the platform and swung back on, letting loose with his laser. Falco may be a lousy shot, but he fired off about ten blasts, and a couple connected.

Meanwhile, N.A. was up and running, matching Falcon blow for blow with smash attacks. Falcon was faster, but Javi, Mutsy and Blanky worked together to block him. Every time Falcon tried to power up a Falcon Punch, he was hit. He then tried a Falcon kick, which sent them flying.

"_Guys, if we try a Gravity Kick here, we'll be blown away!"_

It was true. They were already straining to stay on the platform. Suddenly, the platform stopped and melted into the road. Falco had grabbed Peach and thrown her up, adding with his laser. But he didn't have his eyes on the oncoming F-Zero racers. He had inadvertantly saved Peach, and getting hit with major damage himself. He still hung on.

"_Okay, I'm fine. Let's see how the newbies like a Falco Dash!"_

He turned around to get in a dash, but was met with a perfectly charged Stitch Shot.

"Eat this feather-duster."

FROOOOOOM!

"Waaah"-BOOOOOSH!

Player 3 defeated!

Peach and N.A. grinned rather evilly at the already beat up Falcon.

"FALCON…"

"Ha-CHA!"

"Stitch Shot!"

FROOOOOOOSH!

Player 4 defeated!

Green Team wins!


	8. A Moment with Peach

Peach and N.A. had gotten to the vast green hills surrounding the mansion after leaving Falco and Falcon in a smoldering heap.

"It's really nice out here isn't it?" Said Peach. "Why were you coming out here anyway?"

Javi sighed. "We thought there was less chance of getting people mad. That blew up in the hanger. We haven't exactly been making friends since we got here."

"Don't worry, they're just jealous."

"Yeah, you're probably right."

"_Javi, I'm going to do some recon."_

"_O.K,. but be back soon."_

Mutsy jumped swiftly into one of the trees lining the path without the slightest rustle. Peach saw nothing straight on, but when she looked out of the corner of her eye, she saw a shape shooting from tree to tree.

"What was that?"

"Mutsy just wants to see what's ahead."

"Yes, but why can't I see him?"

"Because of his size and speed, Mutsy is perfectly built for this kind of stuff. I can't sneak for beans. He learned to do this because a living plush is kind of sticks out. For a while, he tried just to act inert, but then people started making fun of me when I got too old to carry him around. I hated that. We tried having him in my backpack, and Blanky's fine in there, but Mutsy hates it. So he practiced a lot to be able to follow me around."

"How long have you known Mutsy and Blanky?"

"Since birth." Javi's face seemed to darken. This was a side to Javi that almost no-one ever saw. Peach thought that maybe the insane babblings and other quirks were just a mask.

Peach seemed wistful. She couldn't imagine having to hide something for so long. Peach wore her emotions on her sleeve. She decided not to enquire more. With the slightest shift, Mutsy was back on Javi's shoulder.

"_Javi, here's a riddle. What's big, scaly, has a short temper and is coming this way?"_

Javi turned to Peach.

"Bowser's coming this way."

She didn't want to mention that no words had passed between them.

"I'm still tired from our last fight, what should we do?"

"Run like scared lil' bunnies?"

And so they did, back to the mansion.

**Sorry it was short, but some cool stuff's coming, so, wait, you impatient toadies.**


	9. Mewtwo's Adventure

Mewtwo and Master Hand were discussing N.A. in his office. The entire conversation was carried on telepathically.

"_Mewtwo, why did you wish to speak with me?"_

"_I am sensing a strange mental activity. I have tried to pinpoint it, but it seemed to be in several places at once. This new presence appeared with Nonsense Advice."_

"_I know you are telepathic. Why did you not just read their minds?"_

"_I tried. The best way to describe it is that it is like a radio receiving several frequencies. I encountered such a maelstrom of thoughts and emotions that I couldn't fix on a single thought. In fact, I had to detach myself from the mind before I was destroyed by it."_

"_Which one's mind did you read?"_

"_I honestly have no clue."_

"_What do you propose we do?"_

"_I could try to apply a advanced form of telepathy. My normal method is like looking through a window. This other method is like going through a door. I would descend into the mind itself. I am not going to bother giving you the details, but I will tell you this. It is dangerous."_

"_Do what you see fit. I have worked long and hard to create the Smash Brothers, and I must insure it's safety, good luck."_

Mewtwo began to meditate in his room. His room was bare and painted black. Mewtwo cared only for practicality. It was bare because he did not sleep, and he did not wish to communicate with the mansion through the screen when he could speak telepathically. It was black and windowless because Mewtwo didn't like light.

It took an hour for Mewtwo to achieve the first stage of the process. He felt himself rise out of his body. He now saw everyone in the mansion as swirling pools of blue electricity. Donkey Kong's was small and smoldering, while Ness's was a crackling vortex of light. His astral projection floated through the walls to N.A.'s room. He was nearly blinded by a three pools of light, shining very brightly. But what really astounded Mewtwo was that they were green, and connected. Coils of energy pulsated through them, binding them to one another. Mewtwo gathered his courage and plunged into one of the pools.

What he saw, he did not expect. He was in a library, with thousands upon thousands of books lining the shelves. The books themselves were of three types. Scrolls, expensively bound tomes and electronic books. (For you non-tech savvies out there, think a tablet with a forward and back button.) between the shelves was a search computer. Mewtwo floated over to the console and entered the search term "Origin of Nonsense Advice". Three of the books floated over to him from the shelves, one of each kind. Mewtwo opened the bound book. A light flashed and he was in a room with Mutsy and Blanky. He tried to move, but he couldn't. He tried to speak, but the words that came out of his mouth were not his own.

"Guys, I've been thinking…"

"Uh-oh."

"No-no, this is good. I thought that we should give avice."

Blanky said, "Don't we do that already? Like, to you?"

"No, I mean over the Great Blue Nothing, a.k.a., the Internet! Over a blog. No one would know what we are, and we could mock any loser out there!"

"Woah, the man with the plan."

"Let's call it…Nonsense Advice."

Another flash of light, and Mewtwo was back in the library. Mewtwo switched on the electronic book.. A flash of light, and Mewtwo was in a room with Javi and Mutsy.

Javi spoke up, "Guy's I've been thinking…"

Mewtwo said, "Uh-oh."

The exact same scene as before unfolded in front his eyes. Mewtwo realized that he was wwing it from Mutsy's point of view, and before he had been seeing it from Javi's point of view. He was reliving their memories! The scene ended and he was in the library. He didn't open the scroll, because he knew that he would relive the memory from Blanky's point of view. He entered a new search phrase, "Origin of Javi, Mutsy and Blanky."

This time, no books flew towards him from the shelves. He was pulled through the air by an unseen force, up and above the library shelves, they seemed endless. He landed in front of a stone pillar carved all over with strange symbols. It glowed a dull, moss green. The very air around it seemed old, unused. He touched it and was hurled into another memory.

He was in a blonde woman's arms. He was very small. He raised his arms and the were short and pudgy. He was a baby in it's mother's arms. His mother spoke.

"Javi, go to sleep, it's late."

Though Mewtwo could only see the ceiling, crowded around him were what Mewtwo assumed was Javi's family. A tall, powerfully built man with slightly graying hair spoke, "Can't make up his mind, eh? Crying one minute, sleeping the next, laughing, and crying again."

"Takes after his mother."

Mewtwo soon noticed a conflict in his mind. He closed his eyes and heard three voices. The were arguing loudly. One was harsh and explosive, one seemed to be proud, ambitious, defended its point valiantly and justly, as the last seemed to try to mediate between the two.

(For the sake of clarity, the first voice will be **this** the second _this _and the third _this. _You'll see why.)

"No, survival is optimum, destroy all in your path, consume all that will not be destroyed, flee from all that will not be consumed! I should lead!"

"Success is optimal! We will be a force to appreciate! We will rise! We must do all that is possible and beyond! I should lead!" 

"_No one can lead alone, but I should lead as you two would destroy us! Unity is our strength!"_

"Unity! Such matters are not important! Only the strong will survive, and we must destroy all others to ensure our survival!"

"We will have the ultimate destiny, and we will need others to accomplish this! We cannot destroy everyone! Ambition shall be our main force!"

"**Ambition will lead us into folly!"**

"Javi, Javi, wake up, we have a present for you!" He felt fingers brush his face. He opened his eyes, still hearing the voices. His mother seemed to be giving him a plain white blanket and a plush dog. They were Mutsy and Blanky, and yet not Mutsy and Blanky, for they did not have the spark of life in their eyes. In the blanket's case, no eyes at all.

"Aww, he's adorable, let's leave him with his stuffed toy and his new blanket. He need a nap, and so do I."

He was placed in a crib lined with blankets. From a brief glimpse he gained, he saw he was in a hospital room. He closed his eyes. The argument ahd reached a peak.

"_Ambition can lead us into folly, but destruction of all will lead to our own destruction!"_

"If we cannot agree, we cannot work together, and we cannot function without each other, I suggest we separate, but remain together as three connected!"

"_**AGREED!"**_

He felt himself split. A mental pulse rocked the crib, a pulse of incredible stregth. He was clutching the dog, larger than himself, and the blanket, tightly in his diminute fists. The dog and blanket glowed, and then, they were alive.

Mewtwo was again inside the library. He visibly panted in a cold sweat. He rapidly detached himself from the minds and returned to his own body.


	10. Mutsy vs Link

**For the story's image, Mutsy is the size of Pichu.**

Javi, Mutsy and Blanky were walking to the breakfast room, when again, Kirby made his move.

"Way-o! (Death to the usurper!)"

Once again, Javi ducked, and Kirby crashed into a wall. Enough about that.

While they ate breakfast, Mutsy was tinkering with a device of his, designing circuits with a

Cold-Heat (tm) Soddering Tool! (blatant advertising sound!). Link, sitting next to him, asked what he was doing. Zelda was sitting on the other side.

"I'm making a circuit breaker to bypass the security locks on our door, allowing us to save time on entry. In short, a remote control for our door." Said Mutsy proudly. Link, being about as tech-savvy as an amish farmer named Ezekiel, looked at him weirdly. Zelda seemed very impressed.

"How does that work?"

"Well, this circuit leads to the power source, which in turn…"

Now Link was steamed. His face was turning red.

"I could tell you how if you asked…"

"Name the two ends of a battery."

"Umm, umm,…. Good and bad?"

Mutsy laughed and even Zelda giggled.

"Ever see one of these bunny-boy?" Link pulled out a bomb.

"Numero uno, I'm a DOG, not a bunny. Dos, that's a bomb filled with gunpowder and a self-igniting fuse."

"Wanna see what it does, doggie?"

"You callin' me out?"

"I ain't callin' ya fer dinner."

Master Hand swept into the room and saw the situation.

_Oh boy. Not this early._

_FIGHT!_

Mutsy vs. Link!

Stage: Great Bay!

Mutsy appeared on the turtle and Link at the other end of the dock.

"Be it ever so humble eh? This is for flirting with my girl!"

Link charged in and grabbed Mutsy with his grapple thingy. He hit him a lot and released him. Mutsy got in a running shot, then jumped in the air. In the air, he got in a bunch of quick kicks before Link nailed a Fire Spin. Mutsy landed, panting.

"Can't take it fluffy? Do you even have any special attacks? Even Pichu's got 'lectricity."

"Does he have this?"

Mutsy vanished into thin air.

"Over here!" said a chorus of voices. Link spun around, to see at least twenty Mutsies crowded onto the platform.

"It's just a trick, it's just a trick…" 

"I'm onto you!" He pulled out a bomb and threw it into the crowd. The Mutsies vanished.

"_By the way,I call that Multi-Mutsy. And I call this a humiliation move."_ A voice whispered into Link's pointed ear. Mutsy had been on his back the whole time! Dang quiver. Mutsy grabbed him and slammed him into the ground. Link got in a smash hit with his sword, and fired a weak-ish arrow.A crate appeared. Link heaved it and two Mushrooms, a metal box, a beam sword and bunny hood came out. Link grabbed one mushroom and Mutsy the other. Link suddenly shrank and Mutsy was huge.

"How do you like me now!" Mutsy yelled in his new booming voice. Musty swatted Link away and grabbed the box, becoming a metal giant. Then he grabbed the bunny hood and sword.

"Multi-Mutsy!" Twenty Mutsies appeared, all of them giant, metal and holding swords. Then they all went in a for a bunny-hood assisted running hit. It was the hardest impact in the history of SSBM. Link became a star in the distance.

Game! Mutsy wins! 

They were back in the Mansion's breakfast room. Zelda sat, mouth agape, for she saw the fight on the plasma screen. Blanky and Javi walked in half-asleep.

"What'd we miss?"

"_You know what happened. You were there in the hook-ball thing."_

"_Yeah, but I love asking that. Way to go Mutsy, way to go."_

The rest of the Smashers eventually came in for Omelette Tuesday. While they ate Mutsy stood proudly on the table.

"I think you guys should see this."

He played the tape of the battle on the plasma screen. By the end, everyone sat motionless in silence, omelette pieces falling from Bowser's mouth.

"Dude…" Said Y.Link.

**The next one might take a while to write, I have a busy schedule. Sorry.**


	11. Gadzooks!

"_Oh-no"_ Master Hand floated down as quickly as he could to the breakfast room. He didn't teleport because he mind was so preoccupied, he could have ended up in Constantinople (Istanbul!). No, he hadn't been told of Mewtwo's adventure in Nonsense Advice's mind, he had just received a very distressing message from his boss. You might say, "What? Master Hand has no master. Otherwise, he'd just be hand. Duh. Time for Cheetos." Well, sorry to break it to you, my cheese by-product encrusted friend, but there is one power that reigns supreme. Who is it? You'll soon see.

Everyone had gotten over Mutsy's match against Link, and were now lazing around until their scheduled matches. Whenever someone was set for a match, a notice would appear on everyone's plasma screens.

Suddenly, Master Hand burst into the TV room, where everyone was conveniently watching _That 70's Show. _

"_ATTENTION!_" Master Hand telepathically shouted, drill sergeant style. Everyone did pay attention.

"_I'm not going to sugarcoat it, my boss is coming for a visit Tuesday, and if he doesn't like what he sees, he could shut down the Smash Bros.,or worse. We'll be holding a tournament Tuesday, to really show off, followed by formal banquet. NO EATING CONTESTS, OR I WILL BANISH YOU TO THE DIMENSION OF UNENDING UNPLEASANTNESS FOR ALL ETERNITY, UNDERSTOOD!" _ He said zooming in on Javi and Kirby, making Kirby cry a little. _"We need to have this place sparkling clean,DONKEY KONG, KEEP YOUR BANANA PEELS IN THE GARBAGE OR I WILL STUFF YOUR TIE UP YOUR NOSTRILS AND INTO THE COW PIE YOU CALL A MIND, and everyone training until Tuesday to be at top performance. At four o´clock Monday, I will arrange for a few…details. DISMISSED!" _Everyone left to clean the mansion.

"_Nonsense Advice, may I have a word with you?"_

"What is it?"

"_I know you're the only self-aware people in the mansion, so here's the problem plain and simple. It turns out only Nintendo characters can be in the SSBM, which you are not.so, when my boss gets here, if he asks you where you came from, say that you are from a powersensor game on the NES _called_ Nonsense Advice, no one ever played those, so we should be good."_

"Powersensor?"

"_It was an unsuccessful accesory for the SNES. You moved the character by waving your hand between to panels, perpendicular to each other, which sensed the heat of your hand. The problem was, your hand had to be on fire for the sensor to work."_

"I see."

And so, the Mansion was scrubbed thoroughly from top to bottom, and eventually, Donkey Kong had to eat out by the garbage cans. Bowser's room was scrubbed of scorchmarks on the ceiling, walls, floor, and Mario dummy, as well as the chains and instruments of torture being polished and oiled. Ness, stacked his comics neatly in the closet, Kirby vacuumed up all the food scraps, and scrubbed the scorch marks off his Javi dummy. NA hadn't been there long enough to cause a mess in their room, so they helped Marth and Roy take down the Peach posters, much to Roy's dismay. Mewtwo telekinetically repaired all the plasma screens. All the battle stages cleaned themsleves, since they were extra dimensional fragments of…aww, the heck with it, let's say it was house elves. (Eat your heart out Rowling.) When they weren't cleaning, they were training. The Target Test virtual machine got used hundreds of times over the course of hours. It really was a show of camaderie, with Mario and Bowser lifting weights together, Link and Ganondorf sparring with each other, Kirby not killing Javi. Touching isn't it? sniff It really showed how much they loved being Smashers.

Four o' clock on Monday rolled around. Mario, Donkey Kong, Fox, Bowser and NA were walking down a hallway to the arcade when suddenly, they were bound and gagged. They woke up in the horrible bowels of…a…hair salon. Peach and Zelda were there, and Ganondorf and Luigi were tied to chairs.

"Run, save yourselves before it's too late!" Luigi screamed. But, it was too late. They were forced and dragged into the chairs. For the next hour or so, they were primped and polished in everyway. Literally, they took a power buffer to Bowser's shell.

"Fox, when was the last time you really went through your fur? There's battle debris from who-knows-when! I can think of a certain blue fox who will love this. Can you say flea bath?"

whimper

"No-a Peach! Not-a my hat!"

"No boyfriend of mine is going to have a hat covered in goomba guts. Just let me give it a spin cycle and you'll get it right back."

"Its-a dry-clean only! DRY-CLEAN ONLY!"

"No Koopa King should be this shiny! Kamek's gonna laugh at me!"

"Javi, give me your jacket."

"NEVER!"

Blanky enjoyed himself a little, since they sewed up any and all rips and he came out of the washer looking whiter than ever. Anyways, the day went on like that.

"Donkey Kong, give me your tie."

"NEVER!"

"Popo, Nana, give me your snow suits."

"NEVER!"

"Pikachu, get in the tub."

"PIKA!"

"Mr. Game and Watch, get on the ironing board."

"BEEEP!"

"No need for such language."

So, as amazing as it seems, the Smashers made it to Tuesday. All were gathered in the main hall of the Mansion, everyone looking fantastic. Murmurs were circulated on the subject of Master Hand's boss.

"Am I the only one thinking of a giant, white sneaker?"

"Naw. Master Hand's a hand right? So his boss is some huge guy missing a hand."

"Yeah, that makes sense."

Then, the door opened. And the most powerful force in the universes was there. It was…

**Who is Master Hand's boss? Will Kamek laugh at Bowser? Will this story ever come to a close? Find out next time on Nonsense Smashers!**


	12. The Boss's Test

...Satoru Iwata. However, no one recognized him. He was in a black suit, and was flanked by…Pikmin? About two dozen were in the bushes, behind trees, and pretty much everywhere. They wore security badges, and had earpieces.

Master Hand, of course, knew him and greeted him elegantly.

"Mister Iwata, how wonderful to see you. May I welcome you and your…staff, into the Super Smash Brothers Mansion! You already know the competitors. A tournament will be held later for your enjoyment."

"Yes, I do appreciate the hospitality Master Hand…" Iwata said as he surveyed the Smashers, making each one sweat, for they knew that he must be a mighty entity to make Master Hand act subservient. "…in fact, I am looking forward to seeing this tournament, and…" He paused as he came to NA. "Who are you?"

"We are Nonsense Advice…sir."

"What game are you from?"

"Nonsense Advice for the SNES, with Powersensor attachment."

"Very well, I see…Pikmin ATTACK!"

The Pikmin swarmed NA, keeping the other Smashers away. Javi managed to poke his head out of the throbbing mass of Pikmin.

"What the heck?"

"No Nintendo character knows anything about a game, therefore, you are not a nintendo game. Watch. Mario! Tell me what a Super Nintendo is."

Mario sweatdropped and started rambling along in incomprehensible italian.

"You see? Now tell me who sent you. Microsoft? Sony? Speak if you want to keep your innards intact, and there are no extra lives in this Mansion."

"No one sent us! We love Nintendo!"

"Silence! Do you not think this has been tried before! Countless have fallen. What do you think happened to Crash Bandicoot? Demon, you cannot have my soul!" Iwata whipped around to face Master Hand, who was torn between obeying his master, and helping who he knew to be innocent. "I trusted you Master Hand, with one of the greatest undertakings in history! How long have they been here?"

"About three days, sir."

"Three days! I should have you banished to the forgotten realms for this! No, calm down Iwata. How's this. I choose three fighters, and if Nonsense Advice can defeat them, they can stay and you keep your job."

"_Very well." _Master Hand felt confident that whoever Iwata chose from the Smashers would throw the fight to save SSBM.

"There is one condition though. Seeing as your fighters have grown attached to this Mansion, I shall choose the fighters. And I warn you Hand, I shall choose no lightweights."

Then, the lights went out, and Nonsense Advice began the fight.

**Stage: Diamond City!**

Nonsense Advice appeared at the top of a building, much like the Fourside stage, but during the day. Billboards abound, advertising pizza, music, and…garlic toothpaste?

_Javi, where are we?_

_I think I know, and so do you. Diamonds, garlic…if Iwata chose the fighters, they're Nintendo characters right? And he mentioned them not being lightweights, sooo…_

"Wario!" NA spun around to see none other than the prince of persuasion, the diamond which prefers to be rough, the dumber plumber, Wario!

"By the way Nonsense Advice, I forgot to mention. Considering your apparent luck in the way of items, Wario will get items, but not you."

"Bring it on!" Said Wario, a ray gun appearing in his hand. He blasted away, each round accentuated with a loud PEEEWW! NA managed to dodge half of the shots, but took a lot of damage when the became pinned against one of the billboards, held up by the sheer force of the lasers. When Wario ran out of ammo, he rushed in on his stubby little legs to get in one of his legendary Wario Smashes. Blanky managed to carry them upwards by ballooning up. Their heads were pounding so much it was easier to talk than to think-talk

"Guys, we can't take one of those smashes, we'll go flying!"

Javi dropped down with a gravity kick, knocking Wario to the ground. Before he could get out of the way, Javi nailed him with a down Smash attack, sending him skywards.

"He's too slow, keep on him!"

"We will just have to fix that."

A bunny hood appeared on Wario's head. "Right on!" Said Wario, as he rushed in with lightning speed, getting in three running hits, juggling NA in the air. Again, NA attempted a Gravity Kick, but he was too fast. "Heh heh, you cannot catch the Wario!" Wario chuckled as he ran, when Mutsy appeared next to him, matching him in speed.

"Multi-Mutsy!" The mutsies swarmed Wario, one of them ripping off the bunny hood. Wario fell to the ground, but not before knocking off the Mutsy swarm with a Wario Smash. Like Blanky predicted, the Smash was astounding, and the duplicates disappeared in puffs of smoke. Luckily, Mutsy, the original, was back with Javi. Wario jumped surprisingly fast, launching himself at NA, rear-end first.

"Wario Bounce!" And he did, bouncing to NA, not quite making it to them with the distance from the initial launch. Javi managed to grab him, bringing him close and headbutting him, then throwing him up, and nailing a Smash attack. As Wario began to fall, a Mega Mushroom appeared, making him easily three times his size. Javi was planning to smash him again, but his attack was rendered useless by a huge body slam. When Wario got up, a freezie appeared in his hand. He prepared to throw it, when Blanky shot out like a chameleon's tongue, grabbing the freezie,and whipping around to throw it back, it connected, freezing Wario in a block of ice. When he broke out, the Mega had worn off, and he was met with a completely charged Stitch Shot.

"WAWAWAWAWAAAH!"

Normally, their victory would have been met with a GAME, but all that happened was that everything became dark, sending them to the second part of Iwata's test.

**Sorry about the delay, but you can see why this took so long to write. Ideas for the next opponent would be appreciated.**


	13. Dogfight'd!

Whoops! I just realized I'm contradicting myself! I said no Nintnedo character knows about a game, but remember this from chapter 1?

"**Whoops, sorry, long time gamer. Ooookay, I pick the first game I ever played, come on down Young Link!"**

Young Link stepped forward.

"**First game, eh?"**

"**Ocarina of Time at a friend´s house."**

"**Cool."**

**Uh-oh! That can't be good! Surprised no one told me! Just forget he said that.**

Back at the Mansion, the Smashers watched NA's conflict with Wario on the edge of their seats. This three match marathon against some tough opponents decided the fate of the Smashers. But, the biggest question was, what was the secret that NA and Master Hand were in on that now threatened so much that they held dear. Could they really trust those who they knew nothing about? When NA won the match, out of the pure luck that the item had been a freezie, babble sprouted from the smashers on the term of NA.

Mewtwo shifted uncomfortably. Here in the Mansion, he had found acceptance, and even a semblance of what he'd call, friends. He could hold it no longer. Without warning, he broadcasted what he had found in the minds of NA to everyone except Satoru Iwata. A moment of silence fell over them as they tried to decrypt this puzzle. Iwata noticed this, but ignored it as the match began, the second part of the trial. Iwata hated having to do this, but the weight of many universes rested on his shoulders, and more responsibility was handed to him constantly. The match began.

Javi found himself in a point of view he had often wished he were in. For, Javi, Mutsy and Blanky were in three separate Arwings in the Sargasso Cluster.

_To quote an american movie whose name escapes me, Donny, you're out of your element._

Iwata was right. N.A. had no idea how to pilot these. Things only got worse when they saw their opponent. Screaming through the empty space, then stopping on a dime by using their g-diffusors, three red Wolfens came into view. On N.A.'s screen appeared the gray face of Wolf O' Donnell.

"Hello, fresh meat. Payoff, and a chance to blast people. I love my job."

In a split screen they saw Leon and Panther Carroso. Then they started getting blasted, and they still didn't know how to move.

As the Smashers could see, things were not going well. Pichu even started crying.

But, Mewtwo had one hope for them. He found one more thing in their heads. He hoped that they would use it in time.

N. A. still managed to communicate over space.

Guys, didn't want to do this, but one, two, three… 

"N.A. INFUSION!" They cried in unison. (I'd like to point out that in the Lilat system, you can hear what happens, otherwise there would be no 'sploshuns.) They all gripped their hands on the joystick. Green, ghostly circuit patterns suddenly spiderwebbed from their hands, encompassing the entire Arwing before fading. Then , they were off, using booster to zip behind the Wolfen, before inverting and blasting them from the rear.

Mewtwo explained over a contained thought wave what was going on. Because Mutsy and Blanky were essentially inanimate objects controlled by independent conciousnesses, N.A. could sort of spread a little of their conciousness in the form of energy through an object, just to the point where they knew the object inside and out. However, this expended a massive amount of energy.

Now, it was a real dogfight. After both sides peppering the other with laser shots, and everyone having their shields depleted a lot, N.A. went into some charged shots, but weaving into the dilapidated space station, they came back and got N.A. while they were flying in formation with bombs. Mutsy lost a wing and Javi's was smoking. Blanky went in for a rolling hit, taking out what was left of Leon's shields. Wolf and Panther went into a double helix dive, but, by using both a boost and roll, Javi squeezed into the ring made by their energy trail, inverted and landed a bomb right between them, taking them out, then Iwata transported them to the last challenge.

The Smashers sighed with relief, but now knew that N.A. was really deep in it.

**Woah, so long to update. Darn education.**


End file.
